as january 12 was the anniversary of the birth of my ex, today is the anniversary of his death. usually, i never intend to write, post or say anything around this time, but i end up doing it, just not every year. suppose it is human. normally, there is some kind of oddity or strife going on that has me look back and contemplate the whole dark mess.
i comment often on having lost ten years. i look ten years younger than i am. i act even younger than that. half of the time, i point to this relationship as having taken ten years away, like it never happened. i mean it when i say it because i was not myself during this time. i have no idea who i was.
sure, a lot of the time my opinion on he and i is terribly negative. i have my reasons. not being unreasonably cold, and i am not be facetious.
so, let’s be nice for once. he had good taste in music. full disclosure: being very controlling, my taste in music had blinders on since only select bands were allowed to be played aloud in the house. that warped fact not withstanding, i luckily also enjoyed his favorite bands. Skinny Puppy, Ween, KMFDM, Ministry, Velvet Acid Christ, Front 242, Joy Division, Bauhaus… stuff like that. his CD collection is one thing i wish i did have. okay, and his fretless bass. and the drum machine. and the korg A4. i have nothing of his though, and i like it that way. there is enough music out there that i really don’t need the CD collection, right. it’s everywhere. as anyone who has lost a friend, when a new album comes out i can’t help but think ‘man, he would have loved this.’
see below the music for the obituary text.
“Passed away suddenly at his residence in North Bay, Wednesday, January 19, 2005, at the age of 29 years. Chad was the loved son of Jacqueline Stewart and step-son of Gerry Stewart. He was the dear brother of Jeff Leeman, Rodney Roy Schickler and Kim Leeman. He was predeceased by two sisters – Wendy Louise and Deborah May. Chad will be sadly missed by several nieces and nephews. Family and friends may pay their respects at McGuinty Funeral Home Sunday from 2:00 to 4:00 and 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. Funeral service will be held at the McGuinty Funeral Home Chapel, Monday at 11:15 a.m. Interment Forest Lawn Cemetery. As expressions of sympathy, donations to the Arthritis Society would be gratefully appreciated by the family.”
Jan 12, 1976 – Jan 19, 2005